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Resources for Healing
God gives us freedom and creativity so there are so many ways to begin the journey of healing or changing a habit. On the other hand, no single resource accomplishes everything. Because every created thing is made to work with God, no technique, program, or institution is “perfect” or complete on its own. There are no “5 tips for instant success.”
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Also, consider that God created and formed us Himself and breathed life into us as His poiēma, His masterpiece. If our Creator Artist God made us from dust, He can certainly repair us when we trust Him to do the work. It is not easy and can be painful at times, but it is
worth it because He is worth it.
A few beginning ideas to get you started...
The first step to changing anything is awareness: awareness of your part in it. What are your thoughts, feelings, and triggers that keep you locked in unhealthy cycles and patterns? Some good resources that I can personally recommend:
Reading books
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Bold Love is the book that I refer to in my testimony. Bold Love (1992) is written by Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Tremper Longman. Based on Biblical wisdom especially in Proverbs, the authors outline the different ways to identify and RESPOND to three categories of sinners: average garden variety that can be corrected with Godly wisdom, foolish sin which rejects wisdom, and intentional evil. Their book is excellent but deep and somewhat academic. If reading is not your favorite activity like me, maybe consider one of the others in this list.
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No More Christian Nice Girl: When Just Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends (2010) by Paul Coughlin and Jennifer Degler OR
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No More Christian Nice : When Being Nice--Instead of Good--Hurts Men, Women, and Children (2005) by Paul Coughlin. Very readable books that target people pleasing directly. Author Paul Coughlin identifies himself as a “recovering nice guy.” I like how he tells us right up front in the title that people pleasing can hurt us.
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Foolproofing Your Life: How to Deal Effectively with the Impossible People in Your Life (2009) by Jan Silvious. Also, an excellent book based on Proverbs with examples of difficult and crazy-looking family dynamics such as gaslighting, although the author doesn’t use this term.
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Take Your Life Back: How to Stop Letting the Past and Other People Control (2016) by Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop, Tyndale House Publishers. I like that this book begins with discussing the “other” prodigal son, who is not the one who acted out in rebellion, but the one who stayed and let bitterness and resentment steal his life. Right away, the introduction looks at shame as the root cause of many of our behavior problems. The authors write specifically from a recovery viewpoint, and they are honest about their own life struggles.
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Christ centered 12-step groups – 12-step groups are not support groups or social groups. They are intended to help you walk the life of transformation that God promises us. They do this by structuring a SAFE place to practice new thinking and responding. Change happens by God renewing our minds, and most every Christian knows this principle from scripture. Reading the Bible for yourself is indispensable for learning and memorizing verses.​BUT what most of us do not know is that this renewing takes place primarily in community with other Christians. “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up. And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9,10,12 CSB).
In my opinion as a retired psychologist, life recovery groups are better than therapy for making true changes in your thinking, feeling, and behavior. 12-step groups are where the “rubber meets the road” because they are a tool for true heart and attitude changes in a person.Whichever group or program that you attend, find one that is organized, runs according to its stated principles (which you should get a copy of), and is Bible based. Attend several different groups if you can because each group is a little different and finding a good fit is important for staying committed and attending. Attending online maybe the only option for you depending on your location, but in-person is more powerful.
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Celebrate Recovery – I attended Celebrate Recovery for 7 years and so I know this model works as designed. CR began in 1991 and has many groups in the United States and even some in other countries. Their stated goal is to find freedom from life’s hurts, hang-ups, and habits. I like their down to earth approach and plain language. I found in CR what I always dreamed church would be – a place to actual apply the truth of the Bible.https://celebraterecovery.com
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New Life Ministries – I currently work with a coach in New Life so that I have weekly accountability. I agree with everything they say on their website about the importance of groups and having accountability for healing and recovery from strongholds. I like that they have other ways besides groups to take your first steps. For those who are not ready yet for the intensity of group work, they offer one-on-one support, courses, and workshops. https://newlife.com/groups/ and https://newlife.com/Many churches have their own developed life recovery programs.
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Re-Generation – Several of my friends have attended Re-Generation and have good things to say about it. It was created at Watermark Church in Dallas and seems concentrated in Texas and a few surrounding states. https://www.regenerationrecovery.org/I’m sure there are other good programs out there if you search online or ask at local churches.
Scripture quotations marked (CSB) have been taken from the Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible® and CSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.Images licensed by Dreamstime.com: Book shelf ID 276007194 © Lesia Pavlenko; Group meeting ID 186750448 © Rudzhan Nagiev; Child of God ID 85640902 © Dariia Baranova